LINDA HAMILTON

Grauman’s Chinese Theater

Hollywood, CA

November 28, 2005

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Photo credit: Linda Hamilton

I was at a movie premiere at the one and only Grauman’s Chinese Theater on Hollywood Boulevard’s Walk of Fame. Because this event was hosted by a client of mine, I was invited to go upstairs to the private after-party. 

I was telling my client about my earlier escapades with celebrities who had taken my picture. Intrigued, she called over the staff photographer to ask where tonight’s movie stars were hiding. Instead of accepting the tip, I followed my instincts and roamed the party to forage for celebrities on my own.

Just past the open plain of an unused dance floor, I spotted Linda Hamilton sitting on a couch with a low table in front of her. She was concealed by potted trees behind her, with about three people on either side acting as a protective thicket. I passed by and made eye contact, but couldn’t figure out how to casually approach her, so I circled the party and came back with a plan. 

I stood behind her leafy habitat, a respectful distance away. Then, with style and grace, I climbed in among the plants.

I crouched in the shrubbery behind the couch to be at her eye level. As one might expect, this heightened her senses, so she cautiously turned around. I said, “Hi, this is kinda weird.” So far, she completely agreed. “I have this celebrity photo album. It’s just a bunch of pictures of me taken by celebrities. Will you take my picture?” Her defenses immediately dropped.

“That's GREAT!” she said. “So what do I have to do?” She touched her friend, Yvette Nicole Brown, who was also in tonight’s movie, and excitedly explained my idea. “I have to take a picture of HER!"

She held out her hand for the camera. “But how are you gonna know I took it? Oh, I know. I'll do this.” She answered her own question and rotated my digital camera. Yvette looked slightly unsure of what to do as Linda was setting up the shot, so I invited her to join us in the photo.

Linda held the camera vertically to shoot a portrait shot, but wasn't convinced we'd all fit within the frame. I said, “I bet we'll fit if it's taken this way.” I gently reached my arm out from deep within the greenery and between the two of them to turn the camera horizontally.

“Oh, good,” she said as I retracted my arm. She snapped a quick pic and rotated the camera for our review. “Look at those big smiles,” she said. “This is SO GREAT! Oh, you don't have to stay back there, come up here and sit with us.”

I backed out of the plants and stood up. I brushed off any lingering foliage and circled around to the front of the couch. I politely maneuvered my way through a maze of knees to sit beside Linda on the white leather sofa. 

She was very welcoming and as we spoke, she periodically touched my arm with the back of her hand like we were old friends. They mentioned that work is pretty slow. “Really slow, actually,” Linda said. “Yeah, it's slow for me too,” I said. “Are you an actor?” she asked eagerly. “No, I'm an art director, but if it's slow for you and slow for me, there must be something going on in our economy,” I said, as though I had my ear to the ground. They agreed with my astute observation, and we carried on talking about the ups and downs of Hollywood and how, sometimes, even at the top, you still have to protect yourself from the lion’s den full of predators. 

Eventually, Linda was approached by someone else who got her talking, so I thanked them both and went on my way. 

My rule about spotting celebrities while out in nature was never meant to include pitching my idea while crouched in the bushes behind them—but apparently the system works. And if our paths ever cross again, Linda, I’ll be sure to greet you like a civilized human being with a traditional face-to-face approach.

Thanks for playing, ladies. And thanks for this fantastic photo!